Happy New Year guys! Yes I know the new year started two months ago but the last time we spoke was in November 2016!!! Our catch up is looooooooong overdue! Maybe for some of us we have already broken our resolutions but fear not because I think every waking day is a chance to revaluate where you are in life and where you want to be. I have certainly had to take some time out to figure out where my head is at for 2017 and to do that I not only had to look a lot further back then 2016.
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ASK YOURSELF IF YOU'VE EVER HAD A GOOD YEAR OR ARE WE JUST COLLECTIVELY DECIDING TO SAY "OH IT WAS MISERABLE" BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS YOU HAVE'NT MADE THE BIG DECISIONS IN YOUR LIFE TO TURN THINGS AROUND AND IT FEELS BETTER TO BLAME THE YEAR RATHER THAN LOOK AT YOURSELF....LIKE THE SAME THING THAT WAS GOING DOWN IN 2013, I DIDNT MAKE ADJUSTMENTS FOR AND I'M FEELING THE EFFECTS OF THAT 3 YEARS LATER
- SHAN BOODY, YOUTUBER
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2016 WAS HARD it really was but as much as it was hard that statement above is nothing but the truth for me let me tell you why...
I started working in my current job in March 2013, at the time I was very excited to be working there especially as I was coming out of 7months of unemployment after resigning from my retail jobs. After studying for a degree in Pharmacology it finally felt like I was moving in the right direction but a year in I realised my job wasn't quite what I expected, but I stuck it out because the people I worked with really kept me going and I honestly though that was where I was supposed to be.
Two years in and I was still there...complaining....dreading my day job but not actually doing something about it. But action really does speak louder than words so I cut my hours down to 4days a week with the intention to look for another job but honestly I didn't know what I wanted I just knew I wanted OUT. Against my better judgement I took a promotion to become a manager and each working day feels like groundhog day and this cycle is killing me..
2016 really highlighted how unhappy I am with my life. We all have ideas of where we thought we would be by whatever age but my disappointment in life not going MY way has overwhelmed me. Depression has manifested in my life big time. We all have experienced depression in some form in our lives and in the past my experience has always come and go in waves but this past year its...lingered. My depression stems from my work life. I know I can do more but how? In past posts I have spoken about my desire to work within the fashion industry but its easier said than done.
It seems every time I take a step forward I get knocked two steps back. I reached out to everyone that I know in the industry, not for a handout, but for advice, for an opportunity to shadow, to learn, but they haven't really been helpful and that had a knock on affect to my confidence because I started to think maybe they dont really think I am good enough either. Unsurprisingly that didn't help my depression lol and so I drifted away from things that once made me feel really good....like blogging.
In 2016 I gave in to a lot of my negative thoughts it was very hard to see a way out until I tuned out the thoughts not on my side and learned to feed myself patience and persistence again and I have had to feed myself an enormous dose of it to be able to carry on working where I am. For now this is the situation but I cant let 2017 be another year were I focus on the shoulda coulda's I have to look out of the eyes of 2017 through a new perspective, one as a year of change. Cliché as that may be.
2017 has to be more and I hope it is for you too.
Lavinya - x